One step at a time

Life has been a bumpy road but that no surprise right? My mind and feelings have been all over the map for the past few months.I am finally getting a grip on everything, finally figuring out how I really feel about certain things.
Going back a bit, I have always been one of those girls that I said I never want to be. One that changes who she was for whatever guy she is with at the time. It got to the point that I didn't know who I was anymore. Do I actually like the music I listen to? Do I actually like the clothes I wear? Who am I? What do I really want?
My time alone has given me alot of time to really think about it all. I had felt so lost never really sure about anything,especially with who I was. The only time I felt really free was when I moved to Red Deer and was living with Jo. I was single and free to be who I was. I'm not saying that I want to go back to being a punk with a mohawk, I just want to feel like that again.
Being here in the vastness and loneliness has been really hard emotionally, but it's something I need to push through. This will make me stronger and know what I really like and who I am.
Another huge problem I have had my whole like was that I never finished anything. I would always start something, or have an idea but never follow through with it.I wanted to that photography but never did it I wanted to go to school for culinary arts but never did it I wanted to learn to sew and make my own clothes, I have only started doing that.I wanted to learn guitar, gave that but I wanted to learn to skateboard, never went far with that.I wanted to write a book, never got past one chapter
I'm done with being that way. I have always complained that I don't have an talents, but the reason behind that is because I never finished something to start realizing I was good at something.I am going to do better. There is so much I want to do and I am going to do them for now on.I have been sewing alot and I really enjoy it because I'm getting better at it. I have made three purses/bags, and three skirts. I am going on this trip, I am actually going on this trip. I'm scared, excited, terrified and happy all at the same time. This trip is gonna help me to come out of my shell and be more out going and not shy to walk up to strangers and start up and convo or ask for help.the person i want to be is someone is not scared of getting out there and living. i don't want to stay at home any more sitting on the couch waiting for my life to begin. i want to learn and experience as much as i can. i learn easier by getting out there hands on, not from reading about it.
i still have to figured out what i really like and who i really am, will i find that in Europe? i don't know but I'm willing to find out.
*my keyboard is crapping out so my cap lock in not working*